IV. Instead of smoking, why not...

16. Buy several bulk-sized tubes of Krazy Glue, a few wide paint brushes and 20 lbs of pork sausages. During the middle of the night, use brushes to slather generous amounts of glue on windows and doors of local juice bar/vegetarian restaurant. Glue sausages to building.

17. Practice moves from movies such as Hero or House of Flying Daggers. Visit local Buddhist temple dressed as large duck. As a substitution, dress as samurai using costume from suggestion #6. Confront temple monks.

18. Petition satellite radio executives to cancel plans for proposed new station, Radio Margaritaville. No. Seriously.

19. Naked cole-slaw wrestling with significant other or willing stranger.

20. Purchase orange jumpsuit and stitch or dye string of numbers to its back, between shoulder blades. Don jumpsuit and pre-bought novelty handcuffs -- don't scrimp, aim for authenticity -- and go for light jog through large shopping mall. Alternative location: Business district during lunch hour.

For more of this list, visit the following:
Instead of smoking, why not...
II. Instead of smoking, why not...
III. Instead of smoking, why not...