What kind of smoke would you be?

Belinda Stronach, 39, Human Resources Minister
If I was a cigarette, I would wish to be a long sensual type, like a Marlboro 100. The type of graceful, slender thing that might have found its way into Norma Desmond's claw-like cigarette holder in Sunset Boulevard. Yes, I realize she was quite mad, but there's a certain appeal to that, too.

Tobey White, 19, Second Cup cashier
I'd be one of those half-smoked cigars that Wolverine is always chomping on, bub. He's baaad-assss! Snikt!

Sylvester Stallone, 58, actor
I'll tell you what kind of smoke I wouldn't be: one of those little wussy hand-rolled numbers that scumbag Travolta kept rolling in Pulp Fiction. Remember the scene at Jackrabbit Slim's? "You can have this one cowgirl." Give me a break! I read for that role you know? My audition was great and then in waltzes Mr. Scientology and I'm out on my ear. The Academy gives him a best actor nomination and what the hell did I get? Judge Stinkin' Dredd, that's what.

Keith Richards, 61, musician
Bollocks. If I was a wot? Piss off mate.